01 · Introducing someone right next to you
Este es mi amigo.
This is my friend.
Este marks something or someone close to you — right here, right now.
Point out anything, near or far, and ask for it out loud in Spanish.
Spanish splits distance three ways where English has two: este = near me (este libro es bueno), ese = near you (ese libro es tuyo), and aquel = far from both of us (aquel edificio es alto). Each set agrees in gender and number — este/esta/estos/estas, ese/esa/esos/esas, aquel/aquella/aquellos/aquellas — and the masculine plural is estos, never estes. Once the noun is clear you can drop it entirely: quiero éste, no ése — I want this one, not that one. That last move is what makes shopping, ordering and pointing things out feel effortless.
Below: the phrases that put all three distances to work, the slip-ups that give beginners away, and a way to practise them out loud in a real exchange — no flashcards, no fill-in-the-blanks.
The warm-up pack
Near you, near me, or over there — pointing things out in real time.
01 · Introducing someone right next to you
Este es mi amigo.
This is my friend.
Este marks something or someone close to you — right here, right now.
02 · Asking about something unfamiliar
¿Qué es esto?
What is this?
Esto is the neuter form, for when you don't even know the noun yet.
03 · A polite way to say no
Ese no me gusta.
I don't like that one.
Ese points at something near the person you're talking to, not near you.
04 · Something far off, in the distance
Aquella casa es bonita.
That house (over there) is pretty.
Aquella is for things far from both of you — you'll mostly be pointing when you say it.
05 · Making a choice
Quiero este, por favor.
I want this one, please.
Este on its own with the noun already dropped — you've pointed, so the word does the rest.
06 · Handing something over
Estos son para ti.
These are for you.
Plural, right next to you — the same este, just carrying an -s.
07 · Describing what's in your hands
Este libro es bueno.
This book is good.
Adjective and noun stay close: este agrees with libro, masculine and singular.
08 · Something near the other person
Esa mesa es grande.
That table is big.
Same distance logic as ese no me gusta — esa is just its feminine match.
09 · Pointing at something across the street
Aquel edificio es alto.
That building (over there) is tall.
Aquel is for the far end of the three-way system — visible, but not close to either of you.
10 · Choosing between two options
Quiero éste, no ése.
I want this one, not that one.
Two pronouns back to back — this is what deciding out loud actually sounds like.
11 · The far-off pick
Prefiero aquél.
I prefer that one (over there).
Same pronoun trick as éste and ése, now for the thing furthest away.
FLUENT
Finally, someone to talk to in Spanish.
Ten-minute spoken lessons. A teacher who answers back — and gently fixes what you got wrong.
First 10 lessons freeandbefluent.com/spanish/this-and-thatRegional Spanish
Textbooks teach one word. Locals use several — pick your region's and stay consistent.
Watch out
The part no drill site can do
Carla
Your grammar teacher for this pack
There are no picture drills here and nothing to match up. In the This & That lessons you talk, and Carla keeps making you point at the world: she holds up two choices and you pick out loud — quiero éste, prefiero ése. She names something near you, something near her, something across the street, and you label each one: este, ese, aquel. Then she springs an unknown on you — ¿qué es esto? — and you answer with eso es…, in the moment, until the three distances stop being a chart and start being a reflex.
Blank mid-sentence and nothing bad happens — she waits. That's the practice, without unnecessary judgement.
Quick answers
Distance from the speaker. Este = near me, ese = near the person I'm talking to, aquel = far from both of us, often visible in the distance: este café está caliente, esa mesa es grande, aquella montaña es bonita.
Estos — always. Estes doesn't exist in Spanish. Say estos libros son nuevos, estos zapatos son míos. The same goes for esos and aquellos.
They're the neuter forms, for unknown or abstract things that have no gendered noun yet: ¿qué es esto? (what is this?), eso es interesante (that's interesting), aquello fue increíble (that was incredible).
Use the demonstrative alone once the noun is clear: quiero éste, no ése (I want this one, not that one), me gusta ésta, prefiero aquél. You'll see them written with or without the accent — both are understood everywhere.
Este and ese cover about 90% of daily use. Aquel earns its keep when you want to stress distance — aquella casa es bonita, that house way over there — or nostalgia in time: aquellos tiempos eran otra cosa (those times were something else).